The Top Five Worst Holiday Songs

The Top Five Worst Holiday Songs

Sadie Mittendorf, Staff Writer

It’s the most wonderful time of the year or so people may say. December a time of being unable to do anything without being bombarded by the same overplayed holiday songs. Even when they’re overplayed, most holiday songs are a fun way to embrace the holiday season but some are not. Below is a ranking of the five worst holiday songs:

 

“Baby It’s Cold Outside” by Dean Martin

Despite what people may say, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is not a cute holiday love song. It’s a song that sends many harmful messages by glorifying manipulation and normalizing non-consensual advances. The lyrics to this song are questionable, to say the least. After taking a closer look at the lyrics, it becomes clear that the song is essentially about a man pressuring a woman to stay with him which he justifies with the reasoning that “baby it’s cold outside”. However, she is clearly uncomfortable with him as she continuously denies his advances by saying “I simply must go” and “the answer is no.” Despite her clear discomfort and lack of consent, the man keeps pushing her to stay until the end of the song. Other lyrics, such as “say, what’s in this drink?” are even more questionable, even among many interpretations.

 

“The Christmas Shoes” by NewSong

Some people say this is a heartfelt song with meaningful lyrics that show the “true meaning of Christmas,” and I’m wondering if we listened to the same song. Unless the meaning of Christmas is a kid buying shoes for his dying mother so she can “look beautiful” when she passes, this song does not show the “true meaning of Christmas.” The worst part of the song, though, is the fact that it’s sung from the perspective of a man witnessing the boy struggle to buy the shoes for his dying mother, yet somehow finds a way to make the situation about himself by saying, “I knew God had sent that little boy to remind me, what Christmas is all about.” Unless you’d like to spend the holiday season emotionally scarred from this horrific song, please save your sanity and skip “The Christmas Shoes”.

 

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” by Jimmy Boyd

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is confusing. No matter how it’s interpreted and it ruins the holiday magic for any kids who happen to hear this horrendous song. Whether they think the mom is cheating on her husband with Santa Claus or if they realize the mom is just kissing her husband who’s dressed up as Santa Claus, it’s safe to say that most kids who hear this song will be incredibly confused or scarred for life.

 

“Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy

Nothing says happy holidays like your grandma dying after getting trampled by a reindeer, right? All jokes aside, the lyrics are genuinely concerning. Lines like “She had hoof prints on her forehead and incriminatin’ hoof marks on her back” make me wonder who genuinely enjoys listening to a song that graphically describes a grandma’s death. Unless you enjoy fantasizing about a grandma getting brutally murdered by a reindeer, do yourself a favor and don’t listen to “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.”

 

“I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas” by Gayla Peevey

Thankfully, this song doesn’t have a disturbing meaning. Not so thankfully, this song is so obnoxiously infuriating that it makes me want to rip my eardrums out. Listening to a bratty child whining about why she want a hippopotamus for Christmas is simply a waste of time that does a great job of ruining the holiday spirit.