Toxic Relationships 

When people think of toxic relationships they often think that it’s easy to recognize toxic people, so they won’t have to end up in compromising positions. 

However toxic people are actually hard to identify. 

Most times we ignore the red flags, whether it’s to keep ourselves or others from getting hurt.

Sometimes we get so caught up in making the person that is mistreating us happy(for whatever reason it may be), we don’t even realize how toxic the person really is. 

Toxic people are everywhere, whether it’s a friend, significant other or even your family. 

Signs that you are in a toxic relationship: 

• They put you down:

 Friends often joke and tease each other in their own way, but toxic friends tend to regularly demean you and make you feel bad about yourself all the time, whether they use subtle dishing or straight forward insults. 

• Gossip: 

Toxic people seem to enjoy spreading rumors/ secrets around.People tend to slip up and say things they shouldn’t accidentally , but toxic people are prone to consistently breaking your trust and not caring about your feelings. 

• Fake apologizes/ Guilt tripping : 

Toxic friends will do one of two things when you try to confront them: 

1. Apologize without sincerity: “ sorry i hurt your feelings, but it was a joke” or “omg… fine, im sorry”. Sound familiar? toxic people try to make up excuses on why they won’t or shouldn’t apologize.
2. making you feel bad for standing up for yourself: toxic people often will try to make you feel bad for communicating about how you feel such as: “i think your over thinking it” or “stop being so sensitive, it was just a joke” or my favorite “why are you being mean to me, you know i was joking”. 

How to leave a toxic relationship: 

• make a plan to leave(practice ahead of time): 

At the gate of emotions there is no logical thinking, so it’s a good thing to have an idea of what you would like to say and an expectation of what you would like to happen. you know what they say “except the best, prepare for the worse”.

Organizing your mind and emotions so things won’t go in a different direction, so practicing by yourself or with someone you trust can boost your confidence , and make yourself more comfortable when having a conversation with the person you no longer want a relationship with. 

• keep you distance

when you’re leaving a toxic relationship/situation, it’s very important to not get caught up in the other persons issues, but it can be hard to keep your distance, you can do this by not talking to them as much, not making yourself assessable to them all the time and focusing on yourself (trying to make a toxic person happy all the time is a lot of energy), toxic people are master manipulators, and they will try their best to make you feel bad for leaving them whether it’s to your face or others. 

• focus on yourself 

When leaving toxic situations, it is not always easy, it can be very hard and draining mentally and emotionally because you put so much time and effort into your friendship that you don’t really have time to focus on yourself. So use this time to make yourself the focal point, try some hobbies, make new friends, care for yourself the way you care for everyone else. 

• Set boundaries/be direct: 

Sometimes it’s really hard to leave people, so if you want to maintain this relationship, boundaries are key. 

Make it known that you don’t like to be mistreated and won’t accept certain behavior. Communication is one of the most important things in any healthy relationship, so making them aware of what you are and aren’t comfortable with is essential. 

And if they don’t listen, then it is time to cut them out of the picture.